When someone is talented at something…the arts, sciences, mathematics… we encourage and celebrate their work. We lift them up, praise them, support them & are proud of the things they have learned and accomplished.
However, when a woman has a talent for sex & sensuality work ((we’re going to come up with a better term for that soon)) we consider her broken or flawed in some way.
We demonize, belittle & insult her work. We tear her down, make her feel worthless or cheapened, We equate sex workers as being used, thus no longer see a ‘special’, ‘unique’ or ‘sacred’ woman.
I used to feel this.
I certainly used to internalize it.
After being abused as a child, and then abused as a young woman, I internalized that if I was seen as ‘too sexual’, or ‘too easy’ I would be abandoned by men entirely. This is when my child-like innocent act shines. I have had many sexual partners, but each one is told ‘I’m not very experienced’. I have found this to inflate the ego of men, as well as making them more relaxed and open to my sexual responses. Men are much more invested in a sexual relationship if they feel like they are teaching a woman to be more in tune with their bodies.
While the facade of inexperience is usually emotionally fulfilling for me personally, I suppose I have picked the wrong partners for physical fulfillment… It’s always curious to me when a man says he loves pussy, but only spends twenty minutes with his head buried in one.
I am currently entering a phase of life in which my fulfillment will come first.
I will no longer put on masks and costumes in order to enjoy my sensual nature.
I am imbued with natural sensuality, eroticism & sexual energy, and that does not make me cheapened, it makes me a living woman.
They are talents, and I will use them with pride.