I adore men & the ‘Masculine Essence’ so much, that when I am disappointed by a man, it is as though they are offending not only me, but some sacred Brotherhood; of all Men, the very nature of masculinity, all who have lived and died in the Universe who describe themselves as male.
I have been having a string of disappointing encounters recently, which is why it came to mind to create a blog post about it all… The most recent of which, also the most embarrassing, on both our parts. I was approached by someone we shall call T. B., who asked for nude content, knowing full well I keep business & my social life very highly separated, and that I am not a physical sex worker in the least, however I recently find myself with financial stressors, and thus, agreed to an amount sufficient for utilization of my time.
After all was said and done, I received nothing for my time whatsoever, and the agreement was broken when he violated the terms by taking unfair advantage of the situation. I won’t reveal details, except to say my trust & person were violated, however I do hold myself accountable for agreement in the first place. I know his type from when I was in my teens, I should have kept learnt lessons filed away, and not re-tried them… aaah, folly!
Others have just been pitter-patters here and there upon the window of my dating world…
The banker who wants to be a Sugar Submissive, doing my bidding & pampering, leading up to full financial control & submission… who suddenly disappeared when I asked for an initial sign of commitment after a lengthy discussion of terms & desire…
The ‘Good Samaritan’ who said he would drive into the city to help accomplish an important task… who conveniently got rear ended by a drunk driver on the way into town, who wanted to still meet for drinks the next day because, surprise, he owns four vehicles & wasn’t hurt whatsoever… though the car was a write-off…
The countless boring sit-through’s of, ‘So what do you do..? How long have you lived here..? What do you enjoy eating..?’… hours of my too-often-repeated stories & anecdotes… the horrifyingly predictable pattern played out by the lust-drunk men who desire the chance to further drink from my strange fountain… the myriad of fellas who will make the effort to drive to pick me up & wisk me away to their abode, yet won’t make the effort to come upstairs & have a normal night with no sexual intimacy…
I search for something so much more, and yet the hunt is scarce.
I have managed to find One Man who has impressed me.
Mr. Scorpio, in past posts… though often referred to on my live broadcasts as Mr. Viking.
He has been the embodiment of Masculine Form.
He has taught me more about myself than my own parents.
My body has developed & changed in beautiful and intimate growth, sometimes in quick bursts of ecstatic-electric synapse, sometimes in slow, languorously thick, heady waves roiling each of my cells into pleasurable gulps.
His romance is dangerous, yet filled with a passion reserved for ancient goddesses.
His Sex is focused, determined, primal, leaving nothing desired or unsated.
His attention is like a beautiful, iridescent garden… perfumed, sweet & dripping like honey & mana over the mouth and mind.
He is so wild, I dare not try to approach or cage him… he is Nature incarnate & one cannot tame such a force without crushing the spirit. The idea of a mutual, determined journey down the same path…a relationship based on respect, freedom, & communication… ((and a lot of sexual behavior that would make a sailor blush… )) would be oh so sweet.