Comfort is a Killer

Screenshot 2018-01-09 at 9.12.34 AM

I try to write something profound,
digging deep, trying to ride a wave
Of inspiration, that’s been bleeding,
For over thirty six hours.

I parse my native language,
To properly convey an alien adulation.
I hunt synonyms, adverbs & nouns
Like thick meat; rich & juicy in image & intent.
Aware that during this primal time,
The Man,
Subject of my Stalk,
is laid down,
in an Other-Made-Bed,

And tamed in each of the same ways I continue to carve & cut away.
Yearning for Comfort never Pursued in Patience… permanently established & stationed…
Comfort is a killer…
I am lonely, but I am safe.
I am adrift, but I am skilled.
I am sad, but I am alive,
And that is enough.


When Your Partner Has Anxiety: A Meltdown Guide

I’m having a really hard time coming off my birth control the last few days, and these are all things I really need right now.

The Meltdown Guide

TW: I swear a lot in this article. 

What do you do when your partner is having a panic attack or a depressive episode?

It can be really scary and super frustrating watching someone you love go through an episode, especially if you don’t know how to be helpful.

This Meltdown Guide was created to help those of you who are in love with people who struggle with anxiety and depression to feel like you can be helpful when your partner seems to be spiraling.

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Luck Has Nothing To Do With It

The Honest Courtesan

Sex worker rights are human rights, and there can never be too many voices speaking up for them, nor too many occasions on which to speak.  –  “Never Too Many

many red umbrellasIt’s that day again:  Friday the 13th, the day on which I ask non-sex workers to speak up for us.  As I’ve explained many times before, there is no possible way we can ever hope to win our rights without the help of allies; since only about 0.3% of the female population are whores at any given time (about 1% over their lifetimes), we simply don’t constitute a large enough voting bloc for politicians to give a damn about us, especially at a time when the popular fad is to pretend that we’re passive victims in need of “rescue” from our own choices.  As I explained two years ago,

…the gay rights movement didn’t really…

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Ecstasy is Achieved Through the Body Itself

3dc0dc1099d0af710dc4614c57cfe344When you are not given any information or knowledge about a thing, you cannot be expected to know or learn it.

This is indeed what happened to my body, my very own biology.
I was not told how it works, what to expect, how to utilize it to its full capacity & potential… so, I was and am unaware of a great deal about my Self & body.

Enter Mr. Scorpio.
I don’t think I have ever mentioned how compatible I am with Scorpio men.
In my life, I have been with two Scorpion-Men, and both have been absolutely revolutionary to me.

This leads us to our current blog post’s main topic – Ecstasy.


Read the word.
It’s shape is awkward & foreign, yet ripe with unlocked juices.

The taste of it on the lip hints of pink gum, bright yellow lemon… the color red.
Seeing in the mind bodies flexing wet-electric, arching in wordless emotion & collapsing, fully rent upon silken sheets in dim rooms.
The definition likening it closer to agony than transcendence.

I am wholeheartedly & thoroughly convinced that I have experienced true ecstasy at the hands of Mr. Scorpio.
It is not the first night we have been together…and I hate to admit, but I’ve personally developed enough of an emotional connection to him that I will not be writing too much about him in this blog… When I care for men, I tend to become protective of their privacy & space, and prefer they kept both in ample amounts.

However, this particular occasion is noteworthy.
I have been exploring the concept of stretching my vaginal muscles & opening recently.
He has been helping.
Last night, we managed to induce the most profound, most mind-altering state I have ever experienced, via the stretching and filling of my body.

The contrasted dance between life-changing pleasure & brain-bending pain was exquisite. I honestly felt like while we were stretching my vagina, we were also stretching the boundaries of the mind & reality as I comprehend them.

I was paralyzed as much by the limits of my muscles being tested, as the waves of new sensation & stimulated nerve rocking me with every gentle thrust of the tools used for my expansion.


It was the truest form of ecstasy, it was nothing like reading the word in books, seeing upturned eyes in movies, nothing. This is one word you must experience in order to comprehend, to learn, to know what it truly means.

It was marvelous, delightful, playful, and deeply personal to me.
I will never forget this man, with his tempered command of the female form… his intuitive, decisive ways of coaxing pleasure from the body…  His165b28ed831eafe12cf77ae5ecf8d3d8 languorous manner, taking time to savor, to relish every bite of the experience…absolutely, a God among men.
Its worth noting as well that I have another layer of appreciation for my inherent sexual nature now, in regards to the idea that I should be unashamed, and in fact, greedy for my own pleasures… that experiencing, exploring, testing the limits & capabilities of my Vessel, my own flesh and bone cage, is not something I should be ashamed of doing.

I am a wild forest, a full harvest with much fruit! Why allow that to go to waste when I can feed thousands from my tables?

Why deny myself the wines of life, why should I not experience a life-altering event, a beautiful, fulfilling moment in time, such as the one I have just had the honor of receiving?

Fuck that, cake & eat it too!
I’m proud of myself for being open enough to have had that experience, and I am forever grateful to Him for creating a safe, comfortable space for it to happen.

I am definitely addicted to this.

Hide Not your Talents, They For Use were Made

When someone is talented at something…the arts, sciences, mathematics… we encourage and celebrate their work. We lift them up, praise them, support them & are proud of the things they have learned and accomplished.

However, when a woman has a talent for sex & sensuality work ((we’re going to come up with a better term for that soon)) we consider her broken or flawed in some way.
We demonize, belittle & insult her work. We tear her down, make her feel worthless or cheapened, We equate sex workers as being used, thus no longer see a ‘special’, ‘unique’ or ‘sacred’ woman.


I used to feel this.
I certainly used to internalize it.
After being abused as a child, and then abused as a young woman, I internalized that if I was seen as ‘too sexual’, or ‘too easy’ I would be abandoned by men entirely. This is when my child-like innocent act shines. I have had many sexual partners, but each one is told ‘I’m not very experienced’. I have found this to inflate the ego of men, as well as making them more relaxed and open to my sexual responses. Men are much more invested in a sexual relationship if they feel like they are teaching a woman to be more in tune with their bodies.

While the facade of inexperience is usually emotionally fulfilling for me personally, I suppose I have picked the wrong partners for physical fulfillment… It’s always curious to me when a man says he loves pussy, but only spends twenty minutes with his head buried in one.

I am currently entering a phase of life in which my fulfillment will come first.
I will no longer put on masks and costumes in order to enjoy my sensual nature.
I am imbued with natural sensuality, eroticism & sexual energy, and that does not make me cheapened, it makes me a living woman.
They are talents, and I will use them with pride.